Content
Let’s be real: Breakups can be brutal. If you’re here, you’ve likely felt this kind of emotional pain firsthand.
It can be reassuring to know you’re not alone — for instance, as many as 66.6 percent of university relationships end in a breakup. But statistics don’t diminish your heartbreak; it’s a form of grief.
Breakups bring all sorts of significant changes, shaking your sense of self and plans. These upheavals can leave you feeling distressed, anxious, and sad. While feelings of sadness are normal after a breakup, they can sometimes linger or worsen over time, potentially leading to depression.
This, too, is common. In 2021, 8.3 percent of U.S. adults experienced depression. Yet there’s hope. Depression, whether due to the end of a relationship or otherwise, is treatable. Things can get better.
Ahead, we’ll outline common symptoms of depression, distinguish them from breakup sadness, explore coping strategies, and share effective treatment options to help you recover from a broken heart and feel like yourself again.
Content
Like depression in general, post-breakup depression can manifest in both physical and emotional symptoms.
Some signs of depression include:
Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and guilt
Emotional distress
Feeling empty, irritable, frustrated, or restless
Changes in appetite and physical gastrointestinal symptoms
Difficulty concentrating and indecision
Headaches, cramps, and other physical pains
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you usually enjoy
These symptoms can come up right after the breakup, but they can also take longer to set in. Sometimes, it takes days, weeks, or even longer for you to feel depression symptoms after a triggering event, like a breakup.
There are several types of depression, ranging from major depressive disorder (MDD) to seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
Stressful life events can also lead to clinical depression, which is sometimes called situational depression or reactive depression. A breakup can fit in this category due to its potential for significant life changes that might leave you feeling betrayed or depressed and disrupt your identity and daily life.
Have we mentioned that breakups are hard?
There’s also something neurological going on when relationships end.
Research suggests that chemical reactions occur throughout various stages of relationships, from lust and attraction to attachment to, unfortunately, rejection or separation. Sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen play crucial roles during this process, alongside dopamine (a “feel good” chemical) and norepinephrine and cortisol, which are “stress” hormones. Oxytocin promotes feelings of closeness, connection, and intimacy.
Consider the rush of excitement after a great date or the calm of hearing "I love you" — these feelings are partly driven by brain chemistry. When a relationship ends, dopamine and serotonin levels often drop. Both of these neurotransmitters are linked with pleasure and well-being, so reduced levels can contribute to depression.
Brain scans in a small study on people going through breakups revealed that romantic rejection could even resemble addiction, triggering symptoms like cravings, withdrawals, and depression. That might help explain some of the intense feelings associated with breakups.
Most people experience an adjustment period after a breakup, but the difficulty of this time can vary depending on individual risk factors.
Some risk factors for depression after a breakup can include:
Adjustment disorder, which causes difficulty regulating emotional reactions to changes and stressors to the point that it impacts daily functioning
A history of depression or anxiety
Low self-esteem
Multiple negative life events happening at once
Traumatic endings, like an unexpected breakup or infidelity
In sum, a romantic relationship breakup can indeed trigger depression.
As we've pointed out, feeling sad or empty after breakups is very common, as is emotional dysregulation, like mood swings.
But distinguishing between normal post-breakup feelings and a more serious mental health condition like depression can be challenging.
A key difference is that depression involves persistent, constant, and pervasive feelings of worthlessness, sadness, and hopelessness. In contrast, post-breakup blues tend to fluctuate and may not dominate every moment.
To be diagnosed with depression, you must have symptoms that significantly impact your daily functioning for at least two weeks.
No matter what your diagnosis may be, it's essential to seek professional help promptly if feelings of hopelessness, severe fatigue, or thoughts of self-harm bubble up.
If your feelings don’t seem to get better over time, or they’re making it difficult to function in daily life, it may be time to seek professional help.
Depending on your symptoms, you may consider both therapy and medication options. We’ll break down both treatment types below.
There are a few different types of therapy for depression. The ones below may be worth considering for breakups:
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Research shows that cognitive-behavioral therapy can effectively treat depression. CBT helps people identify unhealthy and negative thought patterns that fuel harmful behaviors and find ways to change them. The goal is to teach people coping skills to help them better manage their symptoms and navigate future stressors like breakups and dating.
Interpersonal therapy (ITP). As a form of talk therapy specifically designed to address mood disorders and improve relationships, interpersonal therapy can be a great tool for someone with depression after a breakup. Some research also suggests that IPT effectively treats depression generally.
While therapy can be a great way to start rebuilding self-esteem and recovering from a breakup, healthcare providers and mental health professionals may also recommend medication.
Antidepressants are sometimes used as a supplement to one of the therapies described above. Some options include:
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). SSRIs are some of the most common types of antidepressants prescribed to treat depression. They work by increasing serotonin in the brain. Some examples are Lexapro® (escitalopram), Paxil® (paroxetine), and Zoloft® (sertraline).
Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs). These work similarly to SSRIs, but they target norepinephrine — a stress chemical in the body — and serotonin. Common SNRIs include Effexor® (venlafaxine) and Cymbalta® (duloxetine).
Atypical antidepressants. Wellbutrin® (bupropion), which is often referred to as an atypical antidepressant, belongs to a class of antidepressants called norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRIs). It targets the symptoms of depression by increasing the amount of norepinephrine and dopamine — which help regulate mood, cognitive function, and behavior — in the brain.
Even though all of the above treatments can help, it’s also important to incorporate healthy habits into your daily life while dealing with heartbreak. Practicing self-care can look different for everyone, but here are some ideas:
Reach out to loved ones. Having a support system can do wonders as you recover. If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to anyone in your circle, consider joining a support group.
Use social media wisely. It may be best to avoid social media, especially if it previously led to self-esteem issues. Your well-being is likely more fragile right now, so limit your scroll time if you tend to compare yourself to others or if you run the risk of seeing your ex on your feed. Speaking of which…
Set boundaries. One study showed that seeing your ex on social media can make the recovery process more complicated. Though algorithms play a significant role, you can unfollow your ex, limit their ability to view your content, or block them. You could even consider the (sometimes controversial) no-contact rule.
Stay active. Exercising is a great way to take your mind off of a breakup, especially if you take your workout outdoors. Studies show that your brain releases endorphins — a hormone that boosts mood and reduces pain — when you exercise, and nature can add a calming boost.
Eat whole foods. Eating a healthy diet of lean protein (like fish and chicken), fruits, veggies, and whole grains can help you feel more energized. Some healthy foods might even help fight depression.
Practice patience. You may be wondering, how long does breakup depression last? While there’s no definitive answer, seeking treatment and doing little things to boost self-esteem will kickstart your healing process. It takes time, and part of the process is just letting yourself grieve. But it can get better. One study found that breakups can yield positive outcomes, including self-discovery and emotional growth.
Breakups are rarely easy. Dealing with feelings of rejection and sadness can be emotionally painful, and sometimes breakups can trigger depression. Here’s what to keep in mind about post-breakup depression:
When a relationship ends, you might experience a drop in dopamine and serotonin. Both chemicals are involved in mood regulation, and lower levels can be associated with depression.
Some symptoms of depression include emotional distress, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and guilt, and loss of interest or pleasure in activities you usually enjoy.
Post-breakup sadness can look similar to depression. However, someone must display the symptoms consistently for a minimum of two weeks to receive a diagnosis of clinical depression.
If you relate to the above, it might be time to seek professional help for depression. There are a few treatments for depression, including talk therapies like CBT and ITP, as well as antidepressants such as SSRIs and SNRIs.
Whether you’re feeling sad or you think you may have depression, it’s important that you take care of yourself during this moment of upset. Staying active, using social media wisely, and leaning on loved ones can all be acts of self-care.
When you’re in the thick of a breakup, it can be tough to see that things will get better. But you’ve already taken the first step by getting informed about depression after breakups. We see you and are here to support your journey toward healing.
If you think you might be depressed and you’re ready to take another step, you can schedule an online consultation with a healthcare professional to go over options that might help you recover.
Hims & Hers has strict sourcing guidelines to ensure our content is accurate and current. We rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We strive to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references. See a mistake? Let us know at [email protected]!
Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman is the senior vice president of mental health at Hims & Hers and of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at George Washington University. Prior to joining Hims & Hers, Dr. Lieberman spent over 25 years as a full time academic, receiving multiple awards for teaching and research. While at George Washington, he served as the chairman of the university’s Institutional Review Board and the vice chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences.
Dr. Lieberman’s has focused on , , , and to increase access to scientifically-proven treatments. He served as the principal investigator at George Washington University for dozens of FDA trials of new medications and developed online programs to help people with , , and . In recognition of his contributions to the field of psychiatry, in 2015, Dr. Lieberman was designated a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is board certified in psychiatry and addiction psychiatry by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.
As an expert in mental health, Dr. Lieberman has provided insight on psychiatric topics for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, U.S. Department of Commerce, and Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy.
Dr. Lieberman studied the Great Books at St. John’s College and attended medical school at New York University, where he also completed his psychiatry residency. He is the coauthor of the international bestseller , which has been translated into more than 20 languages and was selected as one of the “Must-Read Brain Books of 2018” by Forbes. He is also the author of . He has been on and to discuss the role of the in human behavior, , and .
1992: M.D., New York University School of Medicine
1985: B.A., St. John’s College, Annapolis, Maryland
2022–Present: Clinical Professor, George Washington University Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences
2013–2022: Vice Chair for Clinical Affairs, George Washington University Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences
2010–2022: Professor, George Washington University Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences
2008–2017: Chairman, George Washington University Institutional Review Board
2022: Distinguished Life Fellow, American Psychiatric Association
2008–2020: Washingtonian Top Doctor award
2005: Caron Foundation Research Award
Lieberman, D. Z., Cioletti, A., Massey, S. H., Collantes, R. S., & Moore, B. B. (2014). Treatment preferences among problem drinkers in primary care. International journal of psychiatry in medicine, 47(3), 231–240. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.2190/PM.47.3.d?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori:rid:crossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub%20%200pubmed
Lieberman, D. Z., Swayze, S., & Goodwin, F. K. (2011). An automated Internet application to help patients with bipolar disorder track social rhythm stabilization. Psychiatric services (Washington, D.C.), 62(11), 1267–1269. https://ps.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/ps.62.11.pss6211_1267?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori:rid:crossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub%20%200pubmed
Lieberman, D. Z., Massey, S. H., & Goodwin, F. K. (2010). The role of gender in single vs married individuals with bipolar disorder. Comprehensive psychiatry, 51(4), 380–385. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0010440X0900128X?via%3Dihub
Lieberman, D. Z., Kolodner, G., Massey, S. H., & Williams, K. P. (2009). Antidepressant-induced mania with concomitant mood stabilizer in patients with comorbid substance abuse and bipolar disorder. Journal of addictive diseases, 28(4), 348–355. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20155604
Lieberman, D. Z., Montgomery, S. A., Tourian, K. A., Brisard, C., Rosas, G., Padmanabhan, K., Germain, J. M., & Pitrosky, B. (2008). A pooled analysis of two placebo-controlled trials of desvenlafaxine in major depressive disorder. International clinical psychopharmacology, 23(4), 188–197. https://journals.lww.com/intclinpsychopharm/abstract/2008/07000/a_pooled_analysis_of_two_placebo_controlled_trials.2.aspx